Are anxieties running high for your kids right now? The disruption in the schedule, the constant breaking news, and the use of words like pandemic and recession are enough to throw adults into a panic, what about your kids? As much as we try to protect them, kids will still hear adult things, and they will pick up on changes and unease in our energy.
We don’t want to cause them fear or anxiety, but it happens. So, I dug through my mindfulness toolbox looking for the perfect tool for kids who are feeling some anxiety these days. I think progressive muscle relaxation will be super helpful in settling any worry, fear, or anxiety in your children. Heck, you can try it yourself, it works for adults, too.
Progressive Muscle Relaxation
Progressive muscle relaxation is a deep relaxation technique for releasing stress, tension, and extra energy, so why not use it to release anxious energy, too? It's a two-step process where first, you tense a group of muscles and hold them tight and second, you release the hold. As you release the muscle, the tension flows away with it leaving the muscle group feeling more relaxed.
And, it’s the perfect exercise to use right in the moment when anxious energy is pulsing through your child’s body. The tensing and releasing that are a part of this exercise gives the anxious energy somewhere to go and releases it outside the body.
Anxious energy can show up in soooo many ways. It might be a racing heart, a stomachache, a headache, or difficulty breathing, but it can also show up as acting out or difficulty sleeping. The symptoms of anxiety are many and varied, just like the kids who experience them. Your child may notice any one symptom or combination of symptoms. For me personally, anxiety shows up as a sinking feeling in my stomach and restlessness that makes it difficult to sit down sometimes.
THE PROGRESSIVE MUSCLE RELAXATION PACKET
The full Progressive Muscle Relaxation Packet comes complete with a script that uses fun, kid-friendly imagery, drawing prompts, and discussion starters. You can get it for FREE in The Mindfulness Library.
So, if your child is struggling with big anxious feelings, try to have them lie down or at least sit down. And, if they can’t it’s ok, they can do this even if they are pacing. If they are lying down or sitting they can close their eyes if they want.
Ask them to notice where they are feeling any anxious energy, discomfort, or unease. Have them focus in on this area notice how it feels. Ask them to take in a deep breath in through their nose, and as they do have them tighten and tense the area as hard as they can and hold it for a few seconds. Then, have them push the breath out through their mouth, release the hold, and feel all the tension and anxiety release with the muscle and the breath.
Check in with your child and ask if they are still feeling anxious energy in this part. If they are, then repeat the tensing and releasing until it feels better. When that body part feels calm, then move on to another.
If your kids can’t pick out one area where they are feeling anxious, then start at their head and work toward their feet. I like to start at my head and work my muscle groups down to my feet. For me, it feels like the tension is draining down my body and then out. But, there are some who say to start at your feet and work toward your head. Do what works for you.
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Tips for using Progressive Muscle Relaxation
1. Practice
While progressive muscle relaxation is perfect for use in the moment, it’s also beneficial to set up a regular practice if your kids experience anxiety often. It’s a great exercise for relaxing in general and bringing about a sense of peace and calm.
2. Rate the feeling
If your child can, have them rate their anxious feeling from one to five or one to ten. Run through the progressive muscle relaxation, and then rate the anxious feelings again. Repeat the relaxation technique until they rate their feeling low enough that they feel peaceful again.
3. Customize the script
There is no right or wrong. Change up the script so that it works best for your kids. If your child wants to stand or sit, then let them. They don’t need to lie down. You don’t need to tense and release all the body parts in the script, just do the ones your kids need to and repeat the body parts that continue to feel uneasy until they feel peaceful.
4. Follow up activity
Start a discussion or use an activity like drawing or writing in a journal to follow up the progressive relaxation. These activities can give your kids a deeper understanding of what is happening in their mind and in their body and help them process it.
I included drawing prompts and discussion starters in the Progressive Muscle Relaxation Packet. You can get yours for FREE in The Mindfulness Library.
5. Talk about it
Encourage your kids to talk about their anxious feelings and thoughts. Let them know you are listening, and you are there to help them. Acknowledge what they are feeling. Ask them what they need, it might be different from what you think they need.
6. Create a plan
Brainstorm together and create a plan for minimizing anxiety. Make a list of things or the thing that creates anxiety in your children. Then, come up with a plan or solution for what to do if that thing happens. A plan can help with the uncertainty and make scary things, well, less scary.
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Do you already use Progressive Muscle Relaxation with your kids? If you have more helpful, kid-friendly imagery, then share it with everyone below.
~ Dawn
